Life is a paradox. We are one life, individually.. billions combined. We spend our time together but we die alone. Life is a selfish experience. Many people have tried to make sense of it, and there really isn’t a right or wrong answer.

There’s a theory that everyone is just different versions of you, living out a different life experience… connected as one of a whole living collectively as one. Sometimes, when I am surrounded by a lot of people, I zone out and imagine the view from someone else’s eyes in that very moment… I think “what is that other me living and seeing?!” I inherently have compassion for that person.. because in some way, that person is me. Actually, thinking this way on occasion makes me feel oddly like I have more comfort in this life. Of course it’s not a thought process that I can maintain for long periods of time… eventually my mind goes back to autopilot of the circumstances and memories and feelings of my current life.

I keep reminding myself that all of this is temporary. NONE of it, these things, go with me when I go. It’s all just an experience. Why do I worry? Why do I panic? Why do I let those overwhelming emotions and feelings seep into my heart and soul and move me to the core? But then I stop. I release all of those feelings into the sky… let them float away. I shift to gratitude, even for experiencing those emotions and pain… thank you. It’s uncomfortable and painful, but thank you… because it’s not forever. Thank you, I’m growing, I’m learning, I’m living, I’m feeling, I’m leaning and receiving.

Learning to lean on others, learning to receive strength and compassion and love from others.. genuinely without a wall up… THAT is also hard. It can physically be painful or uncomfortable… but it’s a gift. If you don’t allow yourself to be vulnerable… you will not experience the beauty of pain.

It doesn’t matter what happens when you die, but it should be noted that feeling is not longer an option.

When I’m alone, I feel closest to God. When I’m surrounded by people, I feel connected to other versions of “me”. We are all just a tiny piece of God experiencing individual parts of ourselves. I prefer to imagine it that way, anyway.

Thank you ❤