Before I joined the Navy in 2015, I met a guy at the recruiter’s office when we all had to meet for muster purposes. His name was Eddie. I was about to leave and go home after everything had concluded, and he walked up to me, introduced himself, and asked if he could give me his phone number and if I’d like to go to the gym with him. I said yes, and we started going to the gym almost every day after that. He was 6’2 or 6’3, and had the most heartwarming smile I had EVER seen. He was such a sweet guy. He even had a license and car.. and that was definitely a big plus since I was usually the one picking people up and driving them around.

We ended up talking a lot before we shipped out to bootcamp, and what struck me the most about Eddie was how much of a kind heart a soul he had. He was the most polite man I had ever met. He shook my Dad’s hand when they met for the first time, he wore a belt, knew how to carry on a conversation… he was definitely an old soul and wise beyond his years. In fact, he was quite a bit younger than me, by 6 years. He told me of something that happened to him when he was younger that broke my heart for him, but also explained why he was so gentle and caring and genuinely protective. We were never dating, but he treated me like I mattered, and he never wanted to see me unhappy or hurt. I thoroughly enjoyed what we had as friends.

He left two weeks after I did, and I would look for him in the hallways, while we were marching and during chow, but I never saw him. During the third or fourth week of bootcamp I got called into the office and was told that Eddie had stood up during the moment of truth and told them about a sexual assault that happened between a navy personnel and myself. I was dumbfounded, and pissed. Because, even though it was true, I did NOT want anything keeping me from making it into the Navy or holding me back so early on. I decided not to file a report even though my RDC’s were really angry about letting the person get away with their actions. That person ended up making chief and retiring a couple years later.

Anyway, it was a week before graduating bootcamp, and I was walking down the p-way to the mail room when I saw a line of males against the wall. EDDIE was standing there and I got the biggest smile on my face and gave him a hug (even though that was DEFINITELY not going to fly if someone walked out and saw that). I almost cried when I saw him again, I was proud to see that he made it through and I was happy that he got to see my smile that could hopefully keep him in good spirits until he also graduated.

When he finally graduated, we talked on the phone for a while. He went to Georgia for nuke school and I was in Pensacola. Conversations slowly started to die down and come to a screeching halt after he met his girlfriend (now wife and mother of his child) who decided that Eddie and I could no longer be friends or keep in contact. She blocked me from his social media and from being able to text or call him. I know this because Eddie was and is still friends with my Dad on FB… I didn’t even know this until my Dad asked me if I saw that Eddie was going to be a Dad. I just assumed he cut me off.

I think it’s shitty that people who mean even the littlest of something to you, can be cut off so quickly by insecure partners. It’s happened to me in other friendships as well.. and I really can’t tell if they were actually “friends” anyway if that’s how easily they can drop off the face of the Earth. I can respect boundaries and I would want others to do the same for me when I’m in a relationship. I think about Eddie from time to time and I hope he’s doing well and is happy. I know he’s an amazing father and probably an awesome husband. She’s a lucky girl and hopefully she is treating him how he deserves to be treated.